Kerry Butcher

short term check list

• drink more water
• go outside more
• apply to more things
• get another job
• make more of an effort to be something

long term checklist

• be way kinder to body and spirit
• make more hands on things
• talk to/meet more people
• do more public pieces
• save money
• do more terrifying things

listening to this on repeat and it’s making me dream of summer

it’s got me lying here, feeling happy and okay about the decision I’ve made recently and that people that hurt you don’t have to have a hold on you

I want to cry to think of the infinite feeling I will feel when I’m flying over Greenland on my way to Europe, spending time with my grandparents, spending time in their gardens not doing anything in particular. I feel really happy and warm thinking about feeling alone yet free and so comforted by the feeling that I can find happiness in honoring where I’m at in this part of my life. 

been thinking about going blonde and how happy it makes me feel thinking about it

it feels nice to get a “hope you’re having a nice day” text out of the blue from a guy friend who cares about my feelings

everything just feels profoundly kind tonight, my own brain is euphoric

I don’t know if it’s the sunlight but I haven’t felt this warm on the inside in so long. I feel warm to life, to new experience, to cherishing old ones (but not dwelling on them), to new friendships and people and to myself.

nefertitibiffff:

1. Death is something that is inevitable for you can’t have life without death. I’m not scared of death at all.

2. I need to learn how to trust others. I forgot how it feels to let go and not be in control. Self-preservation is self-destruction in a softer quieter form.

3. Forgiving someone else for what they did to you may never happen but forgiving yourself is crucial in order to move on.

4. Don’t forgot to breathe. Don’t forgot to rest

5.You can’t miss what was never yours. (Read that 3x over.)

6. At the end of the day, people might advise you on how to live your life, but they never went through what you did.

7. No body will fill the void, so let the void be.

8.Diasporic isolation is at the very core of your existence.

9. Its okay to acknowledge your sadness. Its not okay to dwell in it

10. Start viewing every city you live in as a lover.

zenmister:

Words contain our experience. They give us a sense of control. They put a lamp around our genie. They help us navigate the world as we know it and provide an island of comfort amidst the discomfort of the unknown.

Thinking is mostly done in words. We see a rose and we think, that is a rose. It becomes a word, something other than it is. We have contained it. We have defined it. We think we know it. Then we smell it and it is much more. We don’t know anymore. If we don’t have the words to describe how the rose smells, we just think good or bad. We can’t stop the words. We can’t stop the thinking. We can’t help running to the comfortable island of what we know.

When we become uncomfortable with what we know, our words and our thinking have turned against us. Suddenly, there is nowhere to run for comfort. At that point, we can either stay on our safe island of what we know and continue to suffer from our doubts and worries, or we can step out into what we don’t know and seek comfort there. Words will inspire us to take that step, and words will help us to find comfort. Instead of thinking, good or bad, we will think what? Instead of thinking, I feel awful because this is terrible, we will wonder, what is this feeling, what is going on?

When we step into the unknown, we will notice that we were always there. What we thought we knew was a lot of pretty words and ideas. There was never an island. There was never a lamp. The genie was always free.